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Acquaintance Rape

It is estimated by the United States Department of Justice that 154,000 rapes occur each year in the United States. One of the most common violent crimes on the campus today is acquaintance rape. In a 1998 study, about one in six college women reported being raped or the victim of an attempted rape. In earlier studies between 15 and 30% of college women reported being the victims of rape. Other research indicates higher percentages while still other research indicates lower percentages. One of the primary complications faced in conducting this type of research is that often victims of rape either do not report it for a variety of reasons or drop out of school. As a result we can suspect that the actual number of assaults may be more severe than some research indicates. Regardless of the exact number, everyone can agree that this is a serious problem which must be confronted.

Nature of the Problem
Impact of Alcohol
If Assaulted
Long Term Consequences
Risk Reduction

 

NATURE OF THE PROBLEM

Initially referred to as date rape, today acquaintance rape is considered a more accurate term. The reason for this is simple. Research indicates that campus rapes occur not only between people who are on a date but also between those who simply know each other and are not dating. More than eight in ten victims know their attacker. They may have met at a party, or visited an off campus house with friends, or were simply socializing in each other’s rooms in the residence hall, thus the term acquaintance rape. Remember, rape is rape and using the term acquaintance in no way suggests its effects are any less severe than with strangers.

As you read through the statistics on this page, understand they are referring to male on female attacks. In doing so, I do not wish to perpetuate the image of women in society as “victims” nor men as “predators,” however, when it comes to sexual assault, more often than not women are the victims of the assault. For that reason, this section will deal with just that, male on female sexual assault. Rape, defined as forcing another person to engage in sexual intercourse (vaginal, anal or oral), can occur between different or same sex individuals. The bottom line for any of these tragedies is that more often than not, alcohol is involved.


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"I can’t believe he did it. We were teammates. He just didn’t seem like the kind of guy to do that kind of thing. I guess he just got too drunk. I really feel sorry for that girl."
David A., University of Miami


IMPACT OF ALCOHOL


As previously indicated, alcohol is a depressant drug which impacts us in a number of debilitating ways. Simply put, a depressant drug slows down our central nervous system. As a result, alcohol can impair our ability to communicate. Therefore, men and women can often misinterpret what the other is trying to say or do. “Maybe later” becomes “yes.” “No” becomes “give me a few more drinks first.’ An innocent kiss may be mistakenly viewed as an invitation to more intimate sexual contact. While under the influence of alcohol, verbal and non-verbal cues are frequently misinterpreted by college men and women, more often with men overestimating women’s interest in them as sexual partners based on the woman’s characteristics such as friendliness, attractiveness and clothing.

Alcohol, as a depressant drug, may inhibit brain functions that control impulsive behavior. As a result, aggressive actions a perpetrator may not have engaged in while sober may now be acted upon, resulting in a violent attack. Additionally, alcohol is one of the only drugs that seems to actually contribute to aggressive, violent behavior in some individuals. In a study of female students who had been the victims of some type of sexual aggression (including rape, intimidation, illegal restraint) sixty eight per cent reported their male assailant had been drinking or using other drugs before the crime and one in four admitted to being moderately or extremely intoxicated. In another study, more than half the male students who admitted to having committed sexual assault said they had been drinking. Some may even use alcohol and other drugs to justify an assault.

The blame for unwanted sexual behavior and sexual assault always lies with the perpetrator who made the choice to violate another person. But, alcohol, as a depressant drug, can also impair our judgment. As a result victims may place themselves in a high-risk environment which they may have avoided had they been sober. In saying this, I am not blaming the victim but rather pointing out the connection between alcohol use and risk. In a 1987 study more than half the women who reported being sexually assaulted also reported drinking or using drugs at the time of the assault. Additionally, in the same survey, approximately 20% of victims reported being moderately or severely intoxicated at the time of the assault. In a later survey nearly three quarters of the college women indicating they had been sexually assaulted also reported consuming alcohol at the time of the assault. Again, this information is not meant to cast blame on the victim. What it does indicate is that victims of sexual assault are often rendered incapable of assessing a dangerous situation due, somewhat, to alcohol induced impairment.


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"I was so embarrassed I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die."
Anonymous

IF ASSAULTED

If you are raped or know someone who has been raped, there are some critical steps that should be followed. First of all, get help! As a result of the trauma of the attack, victims can rarely think clearly about what they can and should do. Either stay in your room and call for help or get to a safe place. If you are not yet comfortable going to officials, get help from a friend with whom you can talk. There are a number of support services available for rape victims on college campuses. Also, the local police usually have specially trained officers sensitive to the needs of a rape victim. Additionally, if for any reason you are not comfortable with campus services or the police, you can contact a local women’s services organization in your community. Or, for a victims services office near you, call the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), a national rape crisis hotline 1-800-656-4673.

Although dealing with the proper adjudication of the crime is not of immediate concern to a victim of rape, trying to maintain the integrity of evidence of the attack is crucial for future decisions about judicial procedures. If you choose to report the assault, first call the police, then go to the hospital. Do not shower, bathe or douche. Do not change your clothes however bring a change of clothes with you to either the police station or the hospital. The police will need the clothes you were wearing during the assault as evidence. When possible, do not straighten up your room or the area where the attack occurred until the medical and legal evidence has been collected. Failure to obtain evidence within 72 hours after an assault can limit the legal actions for the victim following the assault. While at the hospital, have medical personnel treat external and internal injuries as well as test for sexually transmitted diseases. Most hospitals have specially trained nurses who will administer a rape kit. Finally, if you suspect there is even the slightest chance that you were slipped some type of sedating drug, have a urine test taken. Even if you are not yet at a hospital or treatment facility, collect the first urine sample available in a clean container. There is now a federal law that can put a rapist in jail for 20 years if a sedating drug is used to commit the crime.

Yes, these instructions seem quite cold and calculating, but they are critical. The emotional turmoil and distress the victim experiences is certainly extremely painful, but following these steps will ensure that if the victim chooses to report and/or prosecute, there will be useful evidence. These steps are necessary to assist in ensuring that the attacker will be arrested and effectively prosecuted in court.


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"People tell me to get over it but they just don't understand."

Anonymous

"I was having real problems afterwards. I eventually dropped out of school for awhile. My counselor and my family have been great. I don’t think I could have gotten through this without them."

Jennie, Boston University

LONG TERM CONSEQUENCES

As indicated earlier, professional help is of utmost importance not only for the immediate concerns regarding the attack but also the long term implications. Certainly the survivor of a rape is traumatized by the assault. More often than not, survivors develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Symptoms might include fear, helplessness, depression, anger and other emotional disturbances.

Additionally, we must not forget the long term impact can also be disturbing, often resulting in profound psychological and emotional difficulties. I have spoken with many—too many—students who are recovering from some type of sexual assault. Most are dealing with a number of similar issues:
-while most survivors have fears regarding their assailant, those assaulted while under the influence of a sedative drug (rohypnol, GHB, alcohol) will tend to develop a more generalized fear of men
- fear of intimacy
- extreme discomfort with any form of sexual activity
- fear of being in a confined area such as an elevator
- severe drop in Grade Point Average or perhaps even dropping out of college
- feelings of self-worth may be diminished
- feelings of loss of control over life experiences

A college campus presents a unique challenge in this situation. Since the attacker may also be a student in the school, the victim may experience ongoing anguish regarding the attack after seeing the attacker in class or around the campus. Often the survivors of a rape will blame themselves for the attack. This could lead to other psychological difficulties. Also, there is the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Finally, if there is a long, drawn out legal battle, this may once again victimize the survivor.

If you are the survivor of a rape or know someone who is, be sure to take advantage of the resources available to assist you or your friend. As indicated, rape has not only short term but also long term effects on the survivor:
- as you recover from the attack, attempt to define yourself as a survivor rather than a victim. This can be more empowering.
- individual counseling can help tremendously in dealing with the myriad of issues that can unfold over time.
- isolation could be one of your greatest enemies, so join a support group.
- you are not responsible for someone else’s behavior nor can you change someone else but you can help yourself.


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"Ever since I was attacked, I have felt the need to help others by speaking out against all forms of violence."
Anonymous, University of Miami

RISK REDUCTION

Clearly, high risk alcohol use can have a major impact on the behavior of the drinker. Therefore, first and foremost, careful monitoring of your own alcohol consumption—if you choose to drink—is critical in avoiding acquaintance rape. Although misinterpretation is an important factor, most acquaintance rapes are planned ahead of time by the perpetrators. By pressuring a date to drink heavily, the attacker can render his date less capable of resisting an assault.

Besides minimizing your own alcohol consumption, there are a number of other steps you can take to confront this danger as well:
- Many campuses offer escort services - use them! If your campus does not offer this type of service, work with your Student Activities Office, Counseling Services, Campus Security or any other organization that can implement an escort service.
- Be sure you enter and leave a party with a friend. Commit to each other that, regardless of the circumstances, you will only leave a party with each other, and both of you will always maintain that commitment.
- Women should avoid going to a room alone with a man especially if he has been drinking, even if it is her own room. If you do leave a social situation, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to return. Cell phones can be used to maintain contact with friends as well.
- Be assertive, direct and confident. Don't be afraid to be confrontational and do not give mixed messages.
- Being embarrassed is better than being raped. Scream if necessary.

Some drugs can be placed in drinks without the drinker knowing it. Here are some tips that can help you avoid being slipped some type of drug:
- Do not leave any drinks, alcoholic or not, unattended.
- Do not take any beverages, including alcohol, from someone you do not know well or trust.
- At a bar/club, only accept drinks from a bartender or waiter or waitress.
- Do not accept open container drinks from anyone.
- If you feel disproportionately impaired—meaning more impaired than you would normally be from the amount you have consumed—go to the emergency room immediately. Bring along a sample of your drink for analysis if possible.

Both men and women need to lookout for others who may be at risk due to their own impairment, or the impairment of their friends, and address the developing dangerous situation. Together they can also participate in campus and community advocacy groups that confront sexual assault and high risk drinking. Additionally, they can implement and/or support education programs about sexuality and acquaintance rape. Students, faculty and staff all need to maintain a high level of vigilance in scrutinizing how their administrators deal with sexual assault on their campus, especially the treatment of both the alleged perpetrators and the victims.

In closing, I must make a plea to the men reading this book. One of the most disturbing studies I have read regarding this topic was published in 1991. In this study college males were asked about their attitudes towards rape. The men were asked if they would commit acquaintance rape if they could be assured that no one else would find out and they would not be punished, Only 40% said they were not likely to rape a woman if given the opportunity described. This is, to say the least, shocking. Although female students can take steps to minimize their risk for sexual assault, research suggests that sexual assault is much more associated with perpetrator characteristics than it is with victim characteristics. These characteristics include but are not limited to sexist attitudes towards women, a belief that their behavior is justifiable and a belief that men are entitled to sex under certain conditions such as a “reimbursement for paying for a date.”

Since in one study we see that one in fifteen men reported attempting rape or having committed rape, men must be considered as part of the solution to these repeated tragedies. Men can be instrumental in addressing acquaintance rape and be a positive force for change on their campus by:
- assisting campus organizations in their development of education and prevention programs;
- speaking out regarding their own concerns about sexual assault, especially when it is raised in a humorous fashion;
- challenging sexist and violent attitudes;
- developing and implementing healthy and low risk party guidelines for campus organizations;
- carefully monitoring their own and their friends’ alcohol consumption;
- avoiding, and helping other men avoid, risky situations which might place them in a position to be falsely accused of sexual assault.

Although this page has dealt primarily with male on female rape, men also get raped. It is estimated that men represent about 7% to 10% of all rape victims. Males are assaulted most often by other males. However, offenders who assault males are not primarily homosexual. About half of these offenders report having either heterosexual or bisexual preferences.

Male victims face similar physical dangers and emotional difficulties following a rape along with some additional challenges. Because our society still believes that males should be strong and able to protect themselves, males are less likely to report sexual victimization than females. Fear of embarrassment, ridicule and rejection along with feelings of inadequacy keep male victims from telling loved ones and reporting the crime. In assisting, male survivors of rape, just like women, men need support and understanding if they are to recover from the assault.


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Copyright© 1998-2005 Jim Matthews
Questions? Contact Jim at jim@beerboozebooks.com or 603-595-1356
172 Bartemus Trail
Nashua, NH 03063
Page Last Updated 11/14/05